Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
