there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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