I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize