she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
