margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
