mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize