I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
