YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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