we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
