he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
