he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
