whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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