grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize