I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
