you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All I want is dick and wine.
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