Its about making memories worth repressing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
