Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
