I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
