what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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