I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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