i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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