70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
