Yo dont text me then not text me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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