so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The best revenge is premature balding
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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