Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize