and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
