How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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