where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
