i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
