Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
