I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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