Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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