So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm at about main and main street
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
