I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
