drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
