i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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