Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize