hell yes lets make some ravioli
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
