A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
