I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
