DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
