I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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