Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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