Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
