You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
