i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Boobs speak an international language.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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