Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
