I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
