All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
