just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
