Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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