If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
