I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize