I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We are two peas in an std pod
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
