If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
