I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
