i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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