love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
