So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
