As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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