dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we should paint friendship bongs
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