Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
