i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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