he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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