So drunk its hurt
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
