DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
