This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
