But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
