help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
