C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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