you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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