Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
vagina is talking i cant
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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