she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
